DAY FIVE

"Its leaning a bit, isn't it?"

If it's Saturday, then it must be Tuscani. Another full day tour with two main stops, Florence and Piza.

The ship docked in Livorno, which is the home town of our guide, Erick. Erick is far too good looking for his own good but his stories of growing up in Tuscani are much better than other tour guides and he helps pass the time away till we reach Florence.

Florence is beautiful with its Cathedrals and squares. Got to know two ladies from Leeds, Amanda and Sarah. I did this by accidently stepping on the back of one of Sarah's flip flops, destroying it completely. I did the noble thing and offered to pay for her a new pair. The ladies were a good laugh.

Had a nice meal in Florence. Some kind of Pesto lasagne and salad followed by some kind of cream cake. Oh, and there was bottles of red wine on offer too. Well, just have to don't you?

After lunch we reboarded the coach and headed off for Piza.

Now the ONLY reason for going to Piza is to see the famous leaning tower. All my life I have visualised this has being stood on top of some natural mound (a bit like Glasonbury Tor) in a prominent place over looking the town with all the tourists gazing up in awe at this architectual cock up. How dissapointed was I when I saw this pokie building peering out from behind a beautiful cathedral. Don't get me wrong it is an... interesting building, but hardly a major contender for a "wonder of the world" award. The cathedral next to it was by far more impressive and is also leaning (tho this is never really advertised). Its a bit like the eternal "VHS vs Betamax" battle. Betamax is the more superior format but is pushed into obsurity by the more popular VHS. So it is here. Everyone goes to see the leaning tower and totally ignores the much larger leaning cathedral next door. Ah well.

Oh and just for the record, there is absolutely NOTHING else to see in Piza.

Back on board OV by 6.30.

Had dinner and watched a spectactular show on the top deck called "Planets". This was the "Freedom to Move"singers, dancers and aerialists singing, dancing and...er...aerialing to music based on Holsts: The Planets suite. Apparently OV is the only cruisse ship to do anything like this. Look out for piccies on Facebook.

TO BE CONTINUED...

DAY FOUR

"It will be nice when its finished"
Big day today. Certainly the highlight of the first week.
Disembarked at 8.00am for the first organised excursion of the tour. POMPEII (this one's for you, Dad).
Our tour guide was Louisa who pronounced ev-er-y vow-al and con-sto-nent of every word. Having said that she was very informative and really set the scene for our visit around the ruins by going into great detail of the eruption in 12AD (or whenever it was). First site of Vesuvius (or as Louisa out it: ve-sooo-vee-us) was awe inspiring. A twin peaked behemoth rising some 6000 ft above the napali area. Apparently the second peask is the top of the Volcano that blew completely off all those years ago and landed next to the crater. Originally it was some 10,000 feet high. Now that would have been some site back then.
Pompeii itself was stunning. It is hard to describe how well preserved everything is. From the pizza ovens to the wheel tracks in the cobbled roads from the horse and chariots. . It is easy to imagine a bustling, thriving cty full of traders, shops, restaurants baths and brothels. The brothel we saw was particularly well preserved, including the painted "menu" showing the different positions available. (tried that one, tried that one, mean to try that one, not enough limbs for that one, and so on).
Just a half day trip so back on OV for lunch. Decided to brave the shops of Naples for a couple of hours in the afternoon and survived the exoerience largely unscathed. Lots of illegal street traders (illiegal coz they dont give receipts). Bought a genuine fake Dolce & Gabbana wallet for the princely sum of 10 Euros.
Back on ship and straight into the pool to give my feet a well earned soak after all the walking. the ship excells in pretty much everything and so after a fantastic dinner I spent the evening again in Connexions for a "feast of fun and games" with the events team.
More walking tomorrow as we head into the heart of Tuscani for the first full day tour.

TO BE CONTINUED...

DAY THREE

"You wanna taxi ride, yes?"
First stop on the tour of Europe is not in Europe.
Dismbarked in Tunisia afetr eight with only half a day on the African continent. That sounded good, didn't it. Except that La Goullette, (that's the name of the port) is a bit of a dump really. Oh and its hot. In the high 20's already.
No sooner are you off the gangway when you are assaulted by men with Camels. Their technique is to suggest that you have your picture taken with the beast, thenthey insist you get on its back and before you know it they are taking you for a ride around the quayside. Its all abit "Blackpool", especially when they wont let you get off until you have handed over 10 Euros.
Free of the Camels, you navigate through the Harbour building whichis a bit like Wigan Market. Full of stuff that the Traders think we tourists want to buy. Trouble is, we DO want to buy it. I had gone literally two feet when A small flower made up of Jasmin flowers was thrust into my hand and after agreeing that yes, it smelt beautiful and that I have a bigger one in my garden I was 5 Euros down.
But the worst was to come. Out the other end of the building and you had to run the gauntlet of Taxi drivers. Christ! These guys are persistent.
They don't accept no for an answer and they hound you as you continue to walk away from the quayside. I had one guy follow me for half a mile before I finally got away from him. And he wasn't the only one. I know its their livelyhood and that they have a family (in one case several families) to support but when you say no, you mean no. Someone should explain to them what Einstein said about insanity: Insanity is repeating something over and over again and expecting a different result.
Away from the port and La Goullette consists of several streets full of cafes and restaurants and the such like. All looking like war-torn Bierut. Walking through these streets and you're reminded why the BBC's Holiday programme does not come in "Smell-o-vision".
I walked for a couple of hours and found the coastal road and beach area. I was reminded that the local currency is the Drachma. Local shopkeepers are happy to take the Euro, which coinciently is valued at 1 Euro to the Drachma, but they only give Drachmas in change. Since the Drachma is totally useless outside the country I ended up spending 5 Euros when the can Diet Coke I wanted was only 1 Euro.
Back on OV at lunchtime and spent the afternoon on the Leisure deck. Managed to find a single deck chair and so I set up base camp.
Had another Jacuzzi and found myself in conversation with a family from Blackburn, whose teenage daughter is a student at Runshaw College. "I thought I recognised you", she said. "But it was difficult because you had no clothes on!"
The evening entertainment was first rate again. The "Connexions Bar" hosted a movie quiz, which I won (410 points out of 430) won all sorts of prizes including Dinner in James Martin's restaurant.
Big day tomorrow. Off to Pompeii.

TO BE CONTINUED...

OCEAN VILLAGE Pt 2

AT SEA

"Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink"
So first full day at sea and an opportunity to have a good look around the ship. OV is an incredible craft and huge as well. The Market Plaza is full of shops selling stuff at reasonable prices. Already made my first purchases. They use a paperless system here in that they take an impression of your debit/credit card and then charge everything to your cabin. So no money changes hands at all whilst on board. this can be considered good. but with the constant drinking I've alreadylost count as to how much I have soent. You get a paper receipt from the ever-smiling, ever present waitresses but who keeps count? Hey I'm on holiday.

Today we were at sea all day en route to Tunisia, Spend the majority of the day on the deck sitting in a nice shady spot and occasionally venturing out to one of the pools or the Jacuzzis. It is here where you seem to make the most friends.

There is something about Jacuzzis that make total strangers talk to each other. I think it is because you are constantly facing them trying desperately not to touch any part of their body with any part of your own. I got talking to a pleasant gent named Eric. Eighty seven and rendered blind last year by Type Two Diabetes. He talked at length about his experiences with the desease, which I found very interesting and very scary at the same time. He told me that he had just bought a PC with the software for the blind that reads out everything on the screen and everything that you type. He is going to night school to learn how to use it.

The evenings entertainment on board ship is plentiful and I was in a real fix as to what to watch. There was a magician and singer in "The Marquee" (the main theatre) or a singer and comedian in "Connexions" (a kind of club/bar affair). I decided on the latter thinking that I would catch the magician next time around. Good decision too. The singer in Connexions was first rate and the comedian hilarious (Why are Washing machines sarcastic? Because they take the piss out of your knickers!).

Before any of the entertainment I bravely took a step into unknown territory and played BINGO! £10.00 got me three books of five games. These ranged from one line games with a prize between 35 and 50 quid; two line games, £75 to £100 and the jackpot full house of £550 (if its won within the first 46 numbers called then it went down to £110) I must have had beginners luck as I shared a £50 win with some other woman leaving me up by £15 on the night.

Left Connexions at 12.30am after staying to watch the comedian's late night set and went back to my cabin a happy man.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Day One

So day one was a loooonggg day!!
Wide awake at 2.30am because the airport says I need to log in a MINIMUM of 2 and a half hours before the flight leaves at 6.00am. th fact that I was one of the few to stick to this just goes to show, a) how much flying I do, and b) a bloody gullible I am.
Anyway the whole "airport-to- plane-to airpoirt" thing was all very pleasent and by the book. Met at Palma airport by the first of many Ocean Village (OV) personnel. All very charming and helpful. Picked up my case and loaded it onto the coach taking us to the port.
Got a first glimpse of some of the other "Cruisers": many old couples; a smattering of younger couples; some families and a group of four teenage Chinese girls who immediately made a grab for the "we are really gonna live it up this week and annoy you in the process" trophy.
Outside the terminal and it is hot, 35 degrees or there abouts. The coach is air conditioned as is the "Terminal" at the port where I check in for the cruise. Security is very tight but the precautions against desease is tighter. Lots of forms to fill in. "Have you sneezed or farted in the last 24 hours?" Plus you cant walk into a bar or restaurant without a smiling crew member suirting you with antiseptic hand wash.
The ship is big. Hot on deck but cool inside.
I have three hours to kill before I can access my cabin so decide to sit on the Promenade Deck (Deck 7 - about half way up the ship). A smiling crew member asks me if i would like a drink but does not spray my hands (tho I could see that see that she wanted to). I ordered a pint of diet coke. it arrived two minutes later with a smile. A pint of diet coke with ice and a straw: £1.50. Couldn't argue with that and it was bloody nice too.
Later I went onto "Top Deck" and sat in an easy chair in the shade.
My first experience of the catering was an on-deck BBQ and Buffet. Fantastic!! Another coke and live entertainment and I'm as happyt as Larry til 3.00pm when I can access the cabin.
Bigger than I thought with an outside view and that all important AirCon.
My only committment to OV today was to participate in an emergency drill where I learned how to put on my Life Jacket and that ramming my arm down a sharks throat was the best way to survive a shark attack. (Its better to lose just an arm, right?)
Later on top deck I tried Paella and decided it wasn't for me. But Magners cider with ice (£2.50) almost proves the existence of a God.
Watched the "Welcome Variey Show" which featured all the singers and dancers and acrobats and was far better than it had any right to be.
Back in the cabin and beddy-byes for 11.00pm. At sea all day tomorrow with the promise of a full day's entertainment or just lazing by the pool.
Hmmmm... I like both. But which one is better?
There's only one way to find out.

TO BE CONTINUED...